Pain

I walked 30 km today for a child cancer charity walk, it was very very painful. But for a good cause :)

Also

It reminds me in so many ways that

I WILL NOT EVER NEVER BECOME A SUPERMARKET NURSE! :)

You know the kind who go to work, go home, go to work, go home. Mixed in with cooking tea, doing housework, etc.

Nursing is my passion, my calling and not just a job.

Opps, I am in no way putting people down who work in supermarkets because that is life, and people have to do that to support their families and I admire them in so many ways, to do that every single day, they do not moan, they just do it because that is what life is for them.

And it is bloody hard out there to make a living and support a family.

Sometimes when I pick my son up from preschool (it is across the road from the hospital). I watch nurses going to work, and they look miserable, and I have asked myself, is that what I am getting myself into? But I have come to realise that I would not be doing this to just have a job to make money, it is more then that.

Nursing is so so much more then that, and throughout my training, every single week it becomes something more, it is so hard to explain.

It changes who you are, the studying, the thinking, everything.

I wanted to post

this from my friends old blog, she wrote the first bit and I wrote the second bit. I thought I would post it here as it reminds me about why I want to be an RN and I think it is one of my better posts, when my brain was not half dead from year three study. I know she will not mind me copying it from her blog.

Robots in nursing
I'm intend to write bits and pieces about cultural safety over the next ... whatever. I have started a bit about it, but wanted to post this little piece that I put in the initial blog. so I will. what do you think?Now, lots of us believe that you DO NOT nurse as some kind of robot - who simply completes tasks that help a patient get better. No, my type of nursing is where you use ALL of who you are, to connect with a patient allowing you to support them, in some way, in their journey towards health. Whether this is a 5 minute interaction with someone rushing through ED, that only allows a genuine smile and a touch, this may be enough to let that person know that someone cares, they are not alone in this big scary hospital. Robots cannot be genuine, only a human who knows herself can be.hmmmm
Posted by the star gurl at Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Labels: Cultural Safety - Kawa Whakaruruhau

1 comments:

RN2BE said...
My brain is starting to wake up, after such a long xmas break and I love it! I believe this 150%, I think until a person makes that breakthrough on BEGINNING to know themselves, finding out who they are, working out, etc. I feel they can not provide true nursing care, yes the actual physical stuff but not the whole holistic care, which nursing is.I started to say until a person FINDS OUT WHO THEY ARE, but I thought, no that is not quite right, I personally feel that a person is always growing and can always be searching for the true meaning of life. I feel that learning about ones self is a continual process that may take a life time, it may not or a life time may not even be long enough to figure it out. But making that first step on the path to self discovery is the most important and when you start to become aware of yourself, you naturally are able to become aware of others, which leads back to nursing and being able to provide the best care possible.OK I have rambled enough, nite :) P.S I have used I think, feel words because these are MY opinions and I know that some people that might read this might not agree with it. But that is the great thing about being human we are all entitled to our beliefs, values etc, which is another side of cultural safety, but that is another story :)

Two exams

and then one more semester and I will be an RN (after state exam too, of course) I can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!

I will have a degree, it is such an amazing feeling, knowing how close I am and yes it is actually going to happen :)

Then post grad study here I come

Last assignment for the year

arrrgggghhhh, I cant be bothered!!!!!
It is Saturday and because I have mucked around for so long I am stuck doing it. I want to be finished by tomorrow, so I can start studying for my exams.

Nurse Jacki

This just played here in NZ this week for the first time. I think it is suppose to be half hour episodes, but they are playing hour ones here (2 shows).

Anyway I really enjoyed it, found it to have a dark side, as well as pretty funny in some parts.

When it comes to summer in NZ there is nothing on tv, I have five channels but where I live only get three due to poor reception (in country). We can pay for sky which has heaps more, but as a student that does not really come into the budget.

At the moment all of my favourite shows have finished for the year: greys, lost, outrageous fortune. I cant think of anymore, ER is still playing (the last season).

While sitting here typing, I really should be doing my assignment, based on my clinical experience in the ED. We have to choose a condition / patient and pick three to four of what we think are the key nursing cares they were given. Then compare these (the nurse may have provided these cares or what we actually did, in accordance to hospital policy's) and compare them to best practice guidelines/ research etc.

I have decided to use chest pain. The four key areas of nursing care I am going to use are: assessment, pain management, ECG recording, O2 administration. I think, I change my mind frequently about what cares to do. Also because the assessment would have been done in triage, and then the patient would have been brought through to the ED. I have chosen my patient, and got consent etc, but everything does not seem to be fitting into place yet.

After this assignment I have two exams and then summer holidays for three months, then one more semester and I am FINISHED !!!!!! Hopefully I will find a good job, there are not many to pick from here due to the recession, and I can not move out of the area. There will be jobs in the hospital and I am sure I will be able to get one but it will not be in the area I am interested in because they take intakes for these at the start of the year not midway when we are due to finish. Anyway I will find out more around March next year.

I forgot

One of the biggest highlights was flying with the flight nurse for a shift, it was great we were gone 7.5 hours in total, that included two small towns and one large city.

Definitely what I aspire to be doing in a few years time :)

Finished

I have just finished five weeks in the ED. It was fantastic and I loved every minute of it, definitely my type of nursing. However they will not be taking new grads when I finish, they take them now. After careful consideration instead of going back there for my elective placement I am going to ICU, cant wait.

Busy busy

Classes are all over, exam time and next week I am on placement for five weeks: ED, very excited but very nervous.

Better go do some work:)

Tena Koutou

Eight days........that is how many is left until my literature review is due, and yes I am procrastinating, since logging onto computer I have read 1oo Maori words every New Zealander should know, checked emails, facebook, moodle ( tech site) and basically mucked around.

I am also a terrible blogger, d o not get here much now, but I will try to more frequently.

I have been sick for just under a couple of weeks, with some kind of flu even though I had my flu injection, so I have missed a couple of days of tech because of this , I am going back tomorrow, I hate missing classes, it takes so long to catch up again.

Haere ra

School is ...............

Pretty hectic, I have finished week one, which zoomed past.

In three weeks I have a literature review due. I have chosen the topic 'Best nursing practice in the administration of sucrose in neonates / premature infants'. I am not sure what angle I am taking for this and I still am not even sure on how to write a literature review, we have not had to do one yet.

Patho is good, very interesting, and the other paper middle and older adult (MOA) is ok. On the 31st of August I start working in ED for five weeks for my practicum placement. That will come up in no time, the last week went so fast.

Wahoo!

I am officially a year three student nurse :)

After a two week break, I will be taking three papers:
Pathophysiology
Nursing Research
Nursing middle and older adults

I am still waiting on a few marks to come back.

My motivation is back

I guess that eventually happens when you know in order to pass you need to actually do some work!

I am currently finishing my last assignment for year two and studying for two exams, the first one is tommorrow.

By next Tuesday I will be officially finished year two, a two week holiday and OH MY GOSH I am in year three I can hardly believe it. When I started year one, year three seemed like a far of dream and now I am actually there. I am really looking forward to it, I have my text books and study guides, and planned to start reading in the holidays, just so I feel like I am ahead with the work load when I start.

Anyway better go, family to organize, daughter off to party and the rest are going our for a few hours to give me some peace, ahhhhh I can hardly wait.

MOTIVATION

I need some, I have to study, I have to finish my PNR and the family study. I cant be bothered. But time is ticking. It is freezing and raining leaves. The first day of winter starts tomorrow, summer went so fast.

I am going to miss the babies

One more day to go and I am finished my clinical placement, I really enjoyed the work I did there and the patients that I was looking after but not so much the nursing staff. Anyway just part of the learning experience.

Very tired goodnight.

one week down two more to go

I have just finished my first week in SCBU, the first few days were blah, but yesterday was great! I really enjoyed it and the nurse I was working with was really good. I got a really good report filled out, so am happy.

Have made a start on the family study and practical nursing report but that is about it, I am feeling soooo tired and cant even keep my eyes open at night when I sit down in front of the computer to do some work on them.

I don't know if I mentioned I have two more placements to go before I graduate and I had a meeting a few weeks ago. To discuss my plans for this and what type of practicums I should do, and I am so excited to say that I am going to ED in August!! The hospital that I would like to work at when I finish offers a new grad package in ED/ AAU and this is what I would like to do when I finish my nursing degree. My ultimate goal is to continue to study after I graduate and work my way up so that I can apply to become a flight nurse. I am also interested in mental health and paeds. But have decided that I would like to start in critical care nursing first. That's the one great thing about nursing, there are so many avenues that you can go down. I am so excited I am almost in year three!!! I cant believe it!!

One and half days to go untill

I start practicum placement. I have heaps of stuff to do before then, but am starting to look forward to it.

I finished the conflict essay this week and did the two presentations. We did our Marae stay, so things are getting ticked off the list.

Next on list is family study and PNR.

I had to play two games of netball this morning, it was freezing, we had to be at courts at 8:15am. But it amazing how warm you get from just going for a short jog around the place. I still have a sore foot but not feeling to sore now. I played GD, WD and a tiny bit of WA. We lost but not by much about 4 points and we are really improving. Just bit worried how I am going to fit practice into practicum and study for next week because I am really enjoying it and have toned up quite abit.

Im sore

Played netball yesterday, we lost 12/ 25 it was a hard game at half time we were winning by 7/ 5. But I think due to our relatively new attempt at this game ( I have not played for 15 years) we just got to tired and some of us had injuries from during the week. So we just lost steam, well I know I did I played WD for the whole game and by the last quarter I was exhausted. This is due to my lack of fitness I think, anyway I am thinking of taking this week of, so I can concentrate on my study. It has been pushed aside for netball lately, we have been practicing heaps. It hurts to walk let alone jump around on a court, so I think I will have a break for the week. My clinical starts next week and that is more important to me then netball, I will be on my feet for 8.5 hour days (dont want to be doing that the way I am feeling at moment), and juggling kids, assignments etc, It is going to be an exhausting three week. To tell you the truth I am really worried, I feel like I have so much work to do and time is going too fast.

Anyway better go, I am trying to find a journal article on 'strategies to resolve conflict using the win- win approach, so far have had no luck. I have one but it is older then 2004 and the tutor really wants up to date research.

On my to do list:
1. Finish conflict essay ( Due 26th May) about another 800 words to go
2. Go over presentation for Marae stay this week ( 7th May)
3.Touch up my facilitating a therapeutic group assignment (due 12th June)
4. Arrrrh do my family study, huge assignment :( (due 16th June)
5. Arrrh do my PNR (Practical nurisng report) can only do while on clinical (9th June)
6. Study for two exams 15th and 18th of June
7. Finish year 2
8. Start year 3

Im over it...

Yeah netball, had practice tonight, suppose to have it again tomorrow and the next night too.

Half way through another essay and have almost finished my plan for facilitating a therapeutic group.

Two weeks till practicum, I am not excited, you can probably tell.

Netball

I am playing netball for the first time in 15 years, I was sick for the first game and we lost 44 / 5 (yeah I know pretty terrible) . I played my first game yesterday and we won 25/ 12. So it was a great day :)

We have been training heaps and it is really paying off, I am really enjoying it. I am just having trouble with the family/ study/ netball/ and everything else etc balance. So I am trying to get that sorted this week, because unfortunately study has been put aside with all the craziness of netball and I am feeling a tiny bit (OK bit more then that) stressed at what I still have to get done for school.

Anyway night. Yay Greys is on tonight

Hello :)

My computer has been getting fixed, and I have not had a chance to come on here from tech.

Tech is pretty hectic at moment, well actually I am on two week holiday, but I have lots of assignments to write in three weeks before I start placement.

It is hard to believe but I have basically finished Year 2, teaching wise, just have assignments, exams and placement, but all of the lectures have finished. Feels like it was only just Christmas.

Anyway small post, little children are calling.

Oh I got a good mark back for my first essay, 90.5 %, which is an A+, Yay!!

Flu vaccinations

I got mine this week and decided to get the kids done as well. We have never had one before, but last year they caught Influenza B and were sick for a week, not like ever before, they didn't move from bed. So I decided to have them vaccinated this year. Apparently they are saying that it is going to be a pretty bad year this year for the flu and heaps of people are going to get it. I am on clinical, when flu season starts and I know so many students that have missed a few days to a week because of being sick, that I do not want to risk it this year. The vaccine only covers three strains of the virus, that they think will come to New Zealand ( I have no idea how they work that out) so you can still catch other bugs and it takes two weeks to build up enough antibodies, to protect you, so you can still get sick until then.

I also completed my third hep B injection last month, so this week I had a blood test to make sure I was immune and I am. So that is good, I did have the vaccination about 10 years ago but for some reason, it had worn off or other reasons etc.

Had something else to say but cant remember.

Have been pinching myself (not literally) that in a few months I will be in year three. Woohoo! The thought of becoming an RN is in my sights and becoming reality.

Day off

from the study, I am half way through the essay, and am looking forward to getting it finished. I had a read through it last night for about the millionth time and still found things to change lol, typical :)

Good night on TV tonight Lost and a show called underbelly which is based on a true story about a guy called Mr Asia, the story takes place in Australia, but many of the characters were from NZ. It is a bit shocking in some places, but overall pretty good, I like true stories.

Few more days left and then back to tech for 3 weeks, then two weeks holiday and then I am at placement for three weeks. It was four weeks of four days but they have changed it to 3 weeks of 5 days. The first and last week, I am doing 7am to 3:30pm and then the middle week is 2:30pm till 11pm.

I just hope I can get all of my assignments done, so I will not be stressing while I am there.

Hello :)

I have not been here for a while, life is going along as it does. Children getting sick and having to stay home from school, so essays can not be done, three year olds turning from nice sweet boys into little terrors, locking keys in house, which means locking yourself out while still in pj's (yes that happened yesterday), an infestation of fleas, from all the humid heat in the last couple of months, ewww yuck, but thankfully problem is fixed and I am no longer having nightmares about fleas.

Sooo I am currently working on an essay, and I do not know when I changed my style, of producing essays, but for some reason I have become a real perfectionist this time around. For instance I spent 4 hours last week doing the essay and I only wrote 400 words in that time, as I had to make sure it sounded right and was perfect to me. Normally I am a get it written, read it a couple of times to check for mistakes and hand it in, but not this time, I am slowly meticulously plodding along to get it as good as I can.

This is the last week of my four week study break, not to pleased, the time has gone way to fast, and I thought I would have achieved way more, but never mind.

I have made a decision

I am sticking with the portfolio. I have chosen three news articles: 'Government urged to act on child poverty', 'Lighting up? Not in our back yard!', and 'Prepare for new break, breastfeeding laws'.

I have to critically examine the impact that these three diverse health topics have on Aotearoa NZ and consider the cultural/ethnic or social or political or economic influences (One or more, of these things) that may impact the impact health issues.

I have collected about 8 to 10 references for each article and I am only allowed to write 800 to 900 words per article.

Today I am starting on the childhood poverty article, my goal is to finish it. I am staying at tech till 3pm and then off to pick kiddies up, yummy lasagna for tea (made ahead) and good TV on tonight (Desperate housewives) and I still have some choc in fridge, all round good day, I say!

:)

The plan is working

This is my third day in a row at tech, even though I have no classes.

AND I just handed my first assignment of the year in, the relief is enormous once you get an assignment done and handed in, is it not?

I am well ahead of schedule, it is not due till the end of March, but things will be crazy when classes start back, so if I do not do my assignments now, the chances of a nervous breakdown later on are very high.

I am now onto the portfolio (I decided to stick with it since I had already collected all of the info for it). Oh great just having a read through and the words critically examine are staring at me. We have been taught this, yes but am I any good at it? NO

OK, plan B I am going to go and look at a couple of assignments that are on desk reference and then make my mind up, I want to start this assignment tomorrow. I am on a role here, and while the motivation is still coming, I am going to keep the work coming.

Lost is on tonight :)

Oh

and on a depressing note it is the first day of Autumn today :(

So sad, I love Summer, and it has gone way to fast :(

Yay!

I have four weeks off, while half the class go out on practical. The time I have off is for doing assignments and study. I go out in May for four weeks.

So I am starting off on a good foot. Tomorrow I am going to tech as normal like I normally would and after a meeting with my lecturer about the family study we have to do. I am going to get as much of my first assignment done as possible.

Then pick the kids up and do the housework, dinner, family thing. I want to go to tech as much as possible because if I just come home after dropping the kids off I know I will just muck around. I have just decided (right now on computer) that I am going to go to tech 3 days a week and the other 2 days will be spend here at home, doing bit of study and I have a few things around the house that I need to get done. However my main priority is my assignments. I have been given an amazing four weeks of study and I intend to use it. It could be so easy to sit back for four weeks and procrastinate.

Greys is on tonight :) yay!!!!

emotional....

That has been me this week, its had been crazy, every lecture has gotten to me in some way, that I feel the tears welling up. I look around and nobody else seems to be crying or overly upset. But I just can't seem to help myself, every story seems to touch me in some way, whether it is a story about CF, the Treaty of Waitangi or stories about midwifes from 20 years ago. I get emotional, oh well.

Pre Practicum day tomorrow (even though I do not go out till May) and then that is me for fours weeks, while half the class goes out on their practicum, I will spend the time doing my assignments. I am glad my placement in SCBU is not till May, as well as the fact it needed to be for childcare reasons. But I feel that there is no way I would have been prepared from the theory point of view. Babies are whole other kettle of fish.

Night

Exciting :)

Lost starts tonight ! It has been a really good week for TV in NZ this week. Grey's started on Sun, Mon was Desperate housewives and tonight Lost. Just waiting for ER.

For Health and Kawawhakaruruhau, we have three things to complete to pass the paper. An essay/ portfolio, presentation and exam. The essay/ portfolio is worth 45% and the exam 55%, while the presentation is a pass or fail.

Sooo I am trying to decide between the essay or portfolio. I HATE essays but the portfolio involves quite a bit more work. For the essay, one topic is chosen, while the portfolio involves researching three topics in newspapers, media etc. The topics are to be about health, affecting NZ society currently or recently and they need to be diverse. The three topics I have chosen for the portfolio are: The issue of being able to breastfeed at work, Banning smoking in playgrounds and child poverty in NZ. I have also collected about 6 articles / TV news items for each topic. However I saw a sample of a portfolio today and it was basically the work of two essays, so I am thinking of changing to the essay. I think I will probably focus on childhood poverty in NZ, as there is heaps of info available on this , I already have various articles, so will need to focus on text books and research articles, to be able to complete the essay.

I will decide tomorrow.
Night :)

cruising on through

The week is going pretty good, I do not have to much to say. I have been pretty slack at blogging lately but will have a good catch up soon.

Had a pretty good day, I got a good start on an assignment. The classes were interesting today too. I am really loving communication, it is a real thinking class. I thought it was going to be the same old boring stuff again. You know the stuff you learn in high school about different kinds of communication (open, closed, body posture, eye contact, blah blah) but it is way more then that and it is really specific to nursing. I find myself really thinking about the activities and exercises we do and I am going to make a really good attempt to use everything I learn in my placement this year. A lot of the classes have focused on physical care in the past but this is a paper that really puts the icing on the cake, so to speak. I feel that it really helps to bring nursing care up from good to really good / excellent. If that makes any sense.

Night

Goals before class starts at 1pm :) or at least half of

1. Find a family developmental theorist.

2. Find a nurse or midwifery model.

3. Find three articles towards my portfolio on smoking, breastfeeding and unemployment due to the recession in NZ (they have to be three diverse topics)

4. Info on legal stuff for my childbearing paper - the family study one.

5. photocopy all of my assignments, put them in order of which are due first. I have done this, ha ha, the one that does not involve any thinking.

Week is going pretty good, I am actually enjoying the communicating paper the best, I thought it would be boring but it is fun, the lecturer is fun and it is a real thinking class, mainly looking at yourself, which I don't tend to do much, so it has been hard but pretty good too.

Good news, I got exactly what I wanted, I am in the second lot of placements (these are in May) and I am going to SCBU. Yay!!! This is one of the places I have said I wanted to go, since I started the course, and there are so many students, so I am very lucky to be going there. I am very grateful :)

Ok better get to work

First day back :(

And yes I really cant be bothered. The first class starts at 10 am. Sorry my mood is still low, so that is it for me today.

Oh one more thing I am in love :) with Edward Cullen. Yes I know crazy, he is a vampire and what more a fictional character but I just cant help myself (I saw movie and read first book in weekend).

Weather

I have just read a fellow bloggers post, Her family has been without power for 6 days and suffering through freezing conditions. I can't even imagine what that must be like or how I would even deal with that, and I really hope I never have too.

Yesterday the area in which I lived in reached 37 degrees Celsius (I think is about 98 Fahrenheit), and everyone was complaining, but how would we have felt in the conditions that are happening in Kentucky? Through this blog I have gotten to know people from all around the world, just through reading their blogs and it really puts things into perspective. My last blog was about something silly and nothing in comparison to what is happening in Kentucky. I guess I just had a reality check that is all.

I can't shut my mind off

I have had a really bad day, well it started it out pretty good. Ummm how do I talk about this without going into all the details. Oh I don't know I have typed and re typed this sentence.

I'm going to go now, I just can't get it out right now.

I am feeling pretty good today

I had an appointment this morning that I was worried about but hallelujah it went wonderfully more then wonderfully actually. So I am in a good mood :) and it feels great!

I have been focusing on positive thoughts and putting them out into the universe (anyone read the secret or similar books) well you know it really makes you feel good and positive about life, which I think is pretty important.

My daughter starts school on Mon, these holidays have gone soooo fast. I was actually dreading them as they are so long, but it feels like I still have not had enough of a break. I have one week holiday left after primary school starts.

Fri 11:52am

25 things about me

Ok, this is from some of the other blogs that I follow. I hope I can think of 25 things.

1. I am a bit of a clean freak, I have two showers a day, morning and night.

2. I was accepted into Nursing when I was 17 but stupidly did not go through with it, I then started it when I was 20 and pulled out and finally, at age 24 I started it and now I am halfway through. And there is nothing that will stop me from finishing it now.

3. When I was six I named our new cat, after me (yes my Mum let me lol) and she lived till I was 17.

4. My favourite book in the whole world would be Tully, there is something about that character that really got to me.

5. I have never really eaten red meat, apart from mince in patties, lasagna, meatballs, etc.

6. I love eggs on toast, and love the yolk runny.

7. I hate coffee and tea, and only rarely drink green tea or hot chocolates in winter. Otherwise summer it is manly water.

8. I only wear makeup when I go out, to party, etc. This is rarely, maybe a few times in 6 months. And I never ever wear it to bed.

9. I can't see very well so wear contacts or glasses all the time, unless reading.

10. I hate cockroaches and will cry if someone brings one near me.

11. When I was little I loved the Never ending Story and Labyrinth. I named another cat falcoe from the never ending story.

12. And would you believe the cat named falcoe had a sister which I named S (that is my daughters name) OK I am starting to realise how strange this whole cat thing is.

13. When I was pregnant with S I loved the smell of our washing powder and toothpaste, it was so good I wanted to eat it. How ever I did not.

14. When I was 15 I moved out of home for 3 months.

15. I love the beach and wish I could get there more.

16. I want to volunteer in a third world country when the kids are grown. Maybe Africa for at least 6 months.

17. I want to travel to as many places before I die, at this stage I can only count 2 countries on my list of places to go. Opps I mean on my places that I have been. NZ and Australia. How many countries are there? lol

18. I have had two MI's the first April 04 and the second Feb 07. They first thought it was the contraception pill but then the second one happened for no reason. I have had 2 angiograms and I have normal coronary arteries. After many tests which did not show much. They now query a blood disorder or coronary artery spasm. My blood is being tested in Sydney, Texas and here in NZ. At this stage they still have no answers. I am healthy and well and my only medication is 150 mg aspirin daily. I pray I never have to go through anything like it again.

19. As well as that I had a Pyloplasty (I know i have spelt it wrong) in August 06 after, I cant be bothered looking for exact numbers, but it would have been another 6 - 8 admissions with GA, because of blockages, pain, etc. In Nov, the surgeon finally realised that there was a piece of tissue left over from surgery which was stopping urine flow down the ureter. So another stent was put in, this remained there until Jan where I was told I would be in for an overnight admission, and straight forward procedure to remove the tissue. He cut my renal artery and I then spent 10 days in ICU. Missing on starting my nursing, I had to post pone to July. As I was also unable to walk much, due to pain and bleeding, for 6 weeks until the new stent was removed that they put in to make sure I healed probably. This was when I had the second MI also. Needless to say it felt like I hardly saw my children as I was in hospital so much. It was quite sad because it became normal for them that Mum was in or on way to hospital. It was a hard time but I got thorough it and know that the experience will make me a better nurse for it. (that is not to say that people who have not been in hospital wont be great nurses, I am just making that statement form my experiences and what I feel about myself) OK that was a long one.

20. At the same time my partner was in hospital for cellulitus. He cut his foot open on a farm motorbike, the doctor did not give him antibiotics. He was in hospital for three weeks. The nurses thought it was quite funny but they were so nice to us, at one stage we were even on the same ward. I had my own room, they brought us a TV, I was to sick to care, but Simon quite enjoyed being able to come and visit me.

21. I think one day I would love one more baby. I love the names Freya, Roomy (sounds like roamy), and Shelby and for boys Max, Luca and Thomas.

22. I would love to be a flight nurse at some stage of my nursing career.

23. I really want to go on and do post graduate work, I would love to get my masters and then my PHD.

24. I read a really good book called conversations with god and everything just seemed to make sense. I believe that there is more to life then being alive and then just dying and that we are gone forever. There must be more to it.

25. I love thunderstorms and stormy weather.

Oh for the days of being able to stay in bed

Remember the before we had kids days? when you got to choose when to get up, when if you felt the need to go back to bed for a couple more hours you could or when you felt the need to have a pj day and could stay in bed most of the day.

It is Sun morning, and I think it must have been before 7am when I was woken up. My son o just does not seem to have grasped the concept of a sleep in.

Not sure of our plans today, a relaxing Sunday??? yeah right.

Sun 7:53 am

Lovely day

Silly computer ate my post this morning. I was having a whine about someone that is getting to me. You know the type, I call them energy suckers. Anyway it is complicated and they are doing it so subtly that nobody else would have a clue. So there is no way I can say anything, as I would look like the baddie. So I will just vent here. But as I decided this morning I was going to let it go and I did, but I guess not quite yet ha? As I am still talking about it. Anyway moving on.

I had a lovely day, I was invited over to lunch with a nursing friend. I took the kids and we had a really nice time. She is so lovely and I think out of all the people I have met in my lifetime she would have to be one of the most genuine.

I was graced with an actual sleep in this morning, as the kids stayed at their grandparents. Do you think I could sleep in, no way. Always the way a rare treat and you cant even have it. So anyway I decided to get up and I did an hour of exercise. I am also proud to say that this is not my first attempt since my break over the last few months either. I went for a run the other day, which was pretty good. It hurt to walk for two days but I guess that is the price you pay sometimes,LOL, especially when I have not exactly stuck to my exercise plan for the last few months.

Thurs 7:49pm

I think I have it figured out

Every time the rooster came near our fence, I threw cups of water at it, and sure enough it ran off. So as long as it does not hold a grudge and find another way to get into our property, I will keep an eye on the fence and make sure I have a cup of water handy. I think that might do the trick.

Had a pretty good night my parents and grandma (who is over from Scotland) came for dinner, and spent a few hours at our house. We had a game of pictureka (one of S Xmas presents), and just a general catch up.

Tomorrow a friend from tech who is in the same year as me, is coming over. The papers that I am doing this semester, she did last semester and vice versa. So we are showing each other our essays and assignments for the papers we have done, that the other is about to start. It is good, to be able to have a quick flick through someone elses papers, to get an idea of what the lecturers are after. Mind you this only helps if the person has been given a good mark, there would not be much point at looking at someones essay who had only been given 50% or something.

Night
Tue 9:52 pm

Roosters

There are a few farm animals at our new house, and I was OK with this until yesterday when S and I went over to the paddock, so we could clean the windows that face the paddock. The rooster flew at S and pecked and scratched her. Need to say we made a hasty escape. The sheep were nice, all they did were sniff us and lick my feet, Ewww.

Anyway, today we were sitting in the lounge and S came running in and said "Mum the chicken is coming into the house", I thought she was joking but got up to check and it was making its way through into the kitchen, arhhhh. I managed to get to the door and shut it. I then watched the rooster proceed to eat my vegetable garden, so we decided that maybe we should throw water at it to get it to go away. That didn't work, instead it ran at S (she was in front of me) and pecked her again, I didn't know what to do. I just picked her up by the arms and pulled her through the door. I knew that it was not scared of me as yesterday I had tried to scare it but it flew at me as well.

Well the chicken is back in it's paddock, however I am still scared. Is this chicken on a mission to torment us? I have closed all the windows to only a gap, in case it tries to fly in and I have a load of washing ready to go out, but I am to scared in case it comes back.

So how do I make sure it stays away? the cats were useless they just lay on the grass and ignored it.

Tue 2:29pm

Let it rain, Let it rain

It feels like it is going to rain soon, you know that feeling of the air pressure changing and the smell of rain coming. I love that feeling, especially before a really heavy downpour or thunderstorm. I love the rain at the end of the day when all the washing is in and you have settled in for the night, but not sooner :)

Not a very exciting day today, just housework, that sort of thing.

My favourite radio DJ's came back on this morning, they had a three week holiday. I really love listening to their show during the week, when I am getting ready for the day. They have a show Mon to Fri, 6 am to 10am.

Also another show is starting back in about 5 Min's after about a month break, Shortland Street, it is a NZ drama. That I think has been going for about 17 or more years. Not the greatest of television but kinda addictive, with all the crazy storylines.

Mon 7:57 pm

It is hot again, today

about 30 degrees Celsius. We had a really nice swim this afternoon, maybe for just over an hour, really nice. I love it when you hop back into your clothes after you have been swimming, that nice feeling of freshness and that nice feeling of being so comfortable.

I have made plans to go for a run in the morning, at this stage it is all go but you know me, I will let you know if it happened :)

We took my grandmother on another picnic yesterday about an hour away from here, towards Taupo (not that that will mean much). It is an old farm and scrub lands that have been turned into gardens. When you arrive you get given a map and all the gardens have really neat names like the moon view, the Dee, the broad walk, still water pond. There is a cafe and a labyrinth. I made a picnic, it was really lovely. Although I think the heat may have gotten to her though, after all she is coming from winter in Scotland, which at the moment is minus 3 degrees Celsius.

Anyway goodnight, boring post, but thought I would call in anyhow.

Sat 9:27 pm

I brought

some really comfy pants today, and they were half price so that was a bonus. I didn't feel so bad spending money, it's a bargain if their on sale, well that's what I like to tell myself anyway.

I feel pretty organized for school, have my stationary ready, I brought a new bag before Christmas for my books and things. The only thing I have left to do, is print out all my notes for two papers and get them bound. That way I have all my notes together and they are easier to keep track , also no heavy folders to lug around. I stole the idea from a nursing friend.

I started reading one of my textbooks last night, I don't think I will get into another book (fiction) before I start back. I made a pact with myself to only read fiction etc in holidays. It has worked out pretty good, I don't feel torn between having to study but wanting to finish a book. I read a couple of good books these holiday. My highlight was world without end.

And I have actually started my assignment, so that is good. The kids are going to my parents for the day tomorrow so hopefully I can get a real chunk completed.

Wed 1:44pm

Text books

I brought my textbooks today for the semester.

They are:

Patient and person: developing interpersonal skills in nursing (communication paper)

Understanding health inequalities in Aotearoa, NZ and which I
already have: Cultural safety in Aotearoa NZ (these are for Health and Kawa whakaruruhau)

Introduction to maternity and paediatric nursing and the childbearing and children's study guide.

Not to bad cost just under $300.

It was quite funny because previously getting my textbooks was exciting, but the feeling this time was, here we go again heaps of work and study.

I also got my student ID but could not get pack with diary and calender, etc. It is not ready till Feb.

I think I also have to organise to do my first aid certificate. I think it is due to expire in Feb, they only last two years and you can not go out on clinical without one. In saying that though nobody has ever actually checked if mine is valid, wont leave it though, as this time would be the time I bet I would probably be caught out.

Bit late but

anyway.... I am going to try and choose some new years resolutions.

ummmm

1. Stop eating choc and exercise, as I am 6 kg's heavier then when O was 6 months old. I feel quite depressed about it actually, I went out for dinner last night and tried on about 4 different outfits, before I found something that I was comfortable in. If you saw me in person you would tell me not to be stupid, I do not need to lose weight but the fact is, that I am not fitting any of my clothes now and I seem to be buying clothes that I don't look good in and I dont wear them, because my mind seems to be set at the size I have been for my whole life and I think that I will get back there soon. Bare in mind I have been saying this for about a year now, ha ha ha. I know what I have to do but I lack motivation, I cant be bothered exercising, I love food and I know I cant starve myself for long, so I have to come up with a plan. Anyway enough of this, I have never been this person to complain about weight, never, I remember in high school when my friends were dieting etc and I was like ha whats up with that, now I know how they felt.

2. To not sweat the small stuff, don't think I need to elaborate on this.

3. Get my book The Secret back off my friend, read it again and follow what it says.

4. To be a really good mother, to keep going on, the way I began.

5. To keep on track with study.

6. And to try and really get to know my self more, who am I? I think I have learnt heaps about myself this last couple of years (will explain more further, sooner or later why) but still need to know more, and I know that it may take years and it will, but I hope to learn more this year.

Goodnight Sat 8:02 pm

My timetable for semester two of year two....

is pretty good :)

Mon:
10 -12pm Childbearing and families lecture
1-3 pm Sociology of health and kawa whakaruruhau 2 lecture (mouth full I know)
3-5 pm Professional communication in nursing lecture (this will be the worst I think)

Tue:
1-3 pm Professional communication lecture
3-5 pm Childbearing and families

Wed:
8 - 10 am Professional communication lecture
1-3 pm Sociology of health and kawa 2

Thurs:
10-12 am Childbearing and families
1-3 pm sociology of health and kawa 2

I pretty happy, would have been stuffed if all 8am starts, but thankfully not (Sophie/ school etc).

We took my Grandma to the beach yesterday, she is over here for 5 weeks from Scotland. It was a pretty good day, apart from when I didn't think that I would have to worry about the sunscreen on my legs and man you should see them, they are so sore, red and hurt like hell. Should know by now. The kids are fine, wore their rash suits, sunscreen and they always wears hats. NZ sun is a killer, really bad UV's from the hole in the ozone. At schools and day cares they can't play outside if they do not have a hat on. They also put sunscreen on them, never like that in my day but there are so much cases of melanoma now that they have really gotten behind the whole skin care and sunscreen campaigns. Which is really good, there is even an ad on TV, cant remember the exact pictures, just the words on the screen, "never let your kids get burnt" and then really graphic scenes of people with skin cancer, etc. It is quite powerful.

Thurs 7 pm

I love

rum and coke. I have just enjoyed two glasses, in a nice quiet house. The kids were asleep at 6:30 pm, I did the dishes, had a shower and plonked myself down on the couch. Where I indulged myself, with a nice drink. Ever since S was born 5+ years ago, I have not really consumed alcohol, but in the last couple of months. I have really enjoyed having a couple of drinks at the end of the day to relax and unwind, I only do this a couple of times a week, but I really enjoy it.

I went to tech today and sorted out what books I need this semester, I also found 9 (I just counted them, lol) books for my assignment that I am planning on doing these holidays. They are sitting on my coffee table staring at me. I sorted out my study cupboard and organised things. Then I found the info etc, for the assignment. It has already been 5 weeks of holidays and I only have another 5 to go, I am such a procrastinator. Anyway at the moment my plan is to hop of here and get a start on this assignment :) I will let you know tomorrow if that happened, night.

Mon 7:54pm

Yesterday

I finished World without end, I really enjoyed it, and was sad to be finished. Sometimes I do not like finishing books, it feels like there is a empty void. I keep thinking about the characters and then realise that I am finished the book and they are actually fictional. No I am not crazy lol. I picked up a Marian Keyes book last night but after WWE, it does not seem like it will be good enough. I have some other books on the book shelf I have not read yet: Anna Karenina (spelt wrong), A couple of Bryce Courtney's. Above is my a picture of my book shelf, I estimate that I have read about 3/4 of these. There are a few that have been there for years, but sometimes I think that if you do not read a book straight away, you may never get around to it. You know that book shelf seems so much smaller on computer but when you sit next to it, it feels like you have quite a lot of books.

It is hot today

29 degrees Celsius.

Happy new years, we had a pretty good one, I was invited to a BBQ with some friends from tech, it was lovely. She lives at the beach, so we sat in front of the most beautiful setting, and ate and drunk. Then we went to beep beep ( which is a wharf area that has been turned into restaurants, pubs etc) I had not been out for six years for new years, and had a plan to drink responsibly and not have a hangover. I am proud to say it worked. I went to bed at 3am, woke at 7am, and wahlaa no hangover, tired but did not feel awful.

Just over a month to go until I start second semester of year two. I finally got my marks and timetable. I got one A-, one B and one B-, (which was 80 %, 75 % and 65%) not the best, but at least I passed.

Timetable is good only one 8am start on a Wed, so I not too worried about having to get S to school and me to tech. There are a couple of 5pm finishes, I was worried because I heard that S's school was stopping the after school programme, but found out that they are carrying it on,which is a huge relief, so Big S can get her and O at 4pm, when he finishes work.

The only thing I am worried about is that the first lot of practical is three weeks after we start back, it goes for a month and is right when big S is harvesting (80 + hours a week), as he is the one that looks after the kids the most (all grandparents work etc) I emailed the practicum manager and asked If I could be put in the second lot of practicum (in May, this is big S's quiet season and he is going to take couple of weeks holiday for when I do 7am to 3pm, we can manage 3pm to 11 pm, it is just the early mornings with getting kids to school etc). Anyway she said she could not promise anything, she actually really annoys me because I know of so many people that just walk into her office and demand that they be changed for such and such a reason, and when I send her a really polite email way before Christmas, she cant even promise anything. Anyway I have said what is bothering me, so I am going to try and keep it out of my mind and wait until placements are up before I really start worrying.

Fri 3:47pm