I am going to start blogging again

I start a new job tomorrow morning. After two years of working in the MHIPU (mental health inpatient unit), I am about to begin nursing in a medical ward  (respiratory and renal).  I am excited, nervous, scared, and another dozen or so feelings. I began working in mental health two years ago because when I graduated there were only two new graduate nursing positions in the area where I live (moving was not an option), they were in mental health. So I applied, I thought if I get a position it will be meant to be. Well I did, and I have been there for two years. I am settled there, feel safe and comfy but I told myself a few months ago that this was not what I had wanted, and if I did not start attempting to find another job it would end up being to late. I might find myself still there in 10 years. I needed to get back into the nursing that I had spent three years learning, loving and now I have.

I have a permanent contract of 32 hours a week, so I am keeping a casual contract with the MHIPU and will hopefully do 8 or 16 hours a fortnight there. I would love to only work 64 hours a fortnight in the medical ward but money is tight and I need to get as much as I can at the moment.

I have spent some time reading articles on the website www.allnurses.com
and have attempted to read a few text books to remind myself what medical / surgical nursing is all about. Some of the articles I have read have scared the s*%t out of me, lots of scary stories about to many patients and not enough staff, med errors, mean managers and very sick patients. Today I had thoughts about ringing my new manager and explaining that it had all been a mistake and I was not going to be able to take the job. I know I could still have my old job if I wanted it. But no I told myself,  I  need to do this, I want to have a fantastic nursing career,  I want to get down to the ED and then flight nursing and this is the path I need to take.

Fingers crossed I have a good day and the nurse assigned to orientating me actually wants to do that, passed experience has shown me that sometimes nurses get lumped with students or new staff whether they want to or not. Now one would hope that all nurses love to teach and help a new nurse grow into a confident, independent being but this is not accurate. There are many old, grumpy farts in my hospital. Please oh please let my nurse me interested in my orientation, let her be funny but professional, a team player. And please oh please let her still love her career and want to pass on her experience and wisdom.

I am also attempting to start myself on some sort of fitness regime as well as a healthy eating plan.  I thought  that since I am changing jobs now is as good  a time as any to start living my life how I want to every day instead of telling myself I will start next week. Anyway we will see how I get on with that.

I am an RN!!!!!

and have been working for five weeks!

The hospital where I live only had two positions for the 35 of us that finished in July. These two positions were in mental health, and I actually got one. I am really enjoying it, I start post grad study in Jan, which is all paid for.


I still cannot believe I am not a student anymore, I still feel like I am on a placement. My job is really good but so much to learn. I work 80 hours a fortnight, so it is has been hard getting use to that I was expecting to work 64 a fortnight.

Will post again soon, have been so busy, new house, car (my good old trusty died), new job, life bit stressful at moment :)

I sit state

tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much to catch up on. I will soon, I promise.

Who would have thought

I would do a nursing degree and not be able to get an actual job. There are no new grad programmes where I live and there are no positions for level one RN's either. So I have had to apply to other cities. Which even if I get an interview and the slim chance of a job (with the whole of the north island applying at the two DHB's that are offering new grad programmes), my whole family will have to move and I do not know if we are ready to do that.

So far I have sent away for about 15 jobs and about five of those have been we are sorry but we will not be offering positions to new grads until next year. Please apply back then.

I am so angry, there were positions last year for the nursing students who finished half way through the year. Just none this year. I don't know what to do. It pains me to say it but I have even applied at about six rest homes and they are all filled up to.

I am thinking I might do some post grad study until the 2011 applications open in Sept. But that still means that I may not have work until Feb 2011.

Buggar it.

Portfolio

My Internet has died, so unfortunately I am not able to get here as often as I would have liked, and school is soooo busy.

I am finishing my portfolio today, I have written over 6000 words which has been a bit overboard.

It is worth 60% of my final mark for the paper Leadership and Management.

I have one more week of study break and then am at a rest home with year one students for two weeks, then few more weeks study, then I am on electives and then I am finished. Arrrggghhh.

I will finish beginning of July and sit state July 20th.

Word of advice, if you have to put together a portfolio in your last year, start writing now, it is hard to be reflective on placements you did in year one. I wish I had recorded each experience as it happened, never mind.

Im scared.........

When I was in year one I was the perfect student, when I was in year two I was the perfect student, and then year three standards have slipped pretty far, I still got two A- and one B+ last semester. This semester is not hard but I have no motivation, I am tired, I have had two kidney infections in the last two weeks. I have two assignments due, that I cant write because I cant keep my eyes open due to the medication I am on. Things in my life have changed and I feel like I have more to juggle now. I am scared about graduating, why did I choose a career that does shift work when I have two small children, am I even going to get a job, am I going to feel better soon so that I can work on my assignments, CV and portfolio, learn interview techniques, apply for a job, prepare for clinical placement (my last one). ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

OK that felt good to get it out, change it round now, everything is going to work out, I am going to graduate, I was suppose to become an RN, I was born to do it, I will get a job, the kid thing will work itself out, good positive thoughts out to the universe :)

Blah

Tech is Blah.

OK I am just going to ramble

I am scared I will not get a good New Grad position when I graduate, I keep getting visions of rest homes or Assessment, Treatment, and Rehabilitation (AT&R ward).

I love ED that is where I want to work, but they don't usually take New Grads halfway through the year, which is when I graduate. I was going to go to ICU for my last placement, but after talking to the RN that runs the NETP programme. She strongly suggests that I go to a ward for my last placement as that is where all the jobs will be, and I could miss out if I spent my elective in the ICU, when they will not be offering jobs.

She did say that if a New Grad position came up, they never put anyone in there who have not been there for there electives. So I would be in good stead if there was a placement as I went there for my last placement. ( I got really good feedback and told that they wanted me there as a new grad) BUT they just don't offer positions mid year. So if miracles happen maybe a position will come up and I could go for it, otherwise it will be a ward.

I don't know where to choose, I have three in mind orthopedics, a surgical ward that is mainly gynecology and urology or a cardiac ward. I really don't have a clue I have always stayed away from the wards, as I was not interested in that type of work. But now since the recession etc, etc, that is where I will more then likely spend my first 11 months as a RN.

Can anyone share with me what they liked / disliked about medical or surgical wards, or any recommendations on where to go, has anyone been to a orthopaedic ward? Did you enjoy it?

Holidays almost finished

I go back for my final semester on the 15th Feb, although I was not looking forward to a twelve week holiday, it has been really nice. Christmas was lovely, nice and hot and sunny, beautiful food with nice family company. New Years was good, we spent four nights in Taupo, at my step fathers Bach.

I made a conscious effort to not do to much these holidays, as I guess I will not get a twelve week holiday like this again. I have spent the time with my children, read many books, and just taken each day as it comes.

I am still in disbelieve that I only have one more semester to go and I will have a degree, then I will sit state and become an RN, it is so exciting and scary!

Pain

I walked 30 km today for a child cancer charity walk, it was very very painful. But for a good cause :)

Also

It reminds me in so many ways that

I WILL NOT EVER NEVER BECOME A SUPERMARKET NURSE! :)

You know the kind who go to work, go home, go to work, go home. Mixed in with cooking tea, doing housework, etc.

Nursing is my passion, my calling and not just a job.

Opps, I am in no way putting people down who work in supermarkets because that is life, and people have to do that to support their families and I admire them in so many ways, to do that every single day, they do not moan, they just do it because that is what life is for them.

And it is bloody hard out there to make a living and support a family.

Sometimes when I pick my son up from preschool (it is across the road from the hospital). I watch nurses going to work, and they look miserable, and I have asked myself, is that what I am getting myself into? But I have come to realise that I would not be doing this to just have a job to make money, it is more then that.

Nursing is so so much more then that, and throughout my training, every single week it becomes something more, it is so hard to explain.

It changes who you are, the studying, the thinking, everything.

I wanted to post

this from my friends old blog, she wrote the first bit and I wrote the second bit. I thought I would post it here as it reminds me about why I want to be an RN and I think it is one of my better posts, when my brain was not half dead from year three study. I know she will not mind me copying it from her blog.

Robots in nursing
I'm intend to write bits and pieces about cultural safety over the next ... whatever. I have started a bit about it, but wanted to post this little piece that I put in the initial blog. so I will. what do you think?Now, lots of us believe that you DO NOT nurse as some kind of robot - who simply completes tasks that help a patient get better. No, my type of nursing is where you use ALL of who you are, to connect with a patient allowing you to support them, in some way, in their journey towards health. Whether this is a 5 minute interaction with someone rushing through ED, that only allows a genuine smile and a touch, this may be enough to let that person know that someone cares, they are not alone in this big scary hospital. Robots cannot be genuine, only a human who knows herself can be.hmmmm
Posted by the star gurl at Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Labels: Cultural Safety - Kawa Whakaruruhau

1 comments:

RN2BE said...
My brain is starting to wake up, after such a long xmas break and I love it! I believe this 150%, I think until a person makes that breakthrough on BEGINNING to know themselves, finding out who they are, working out, etc. I feel they can not provide true nursing care, yes the actual physical stuff but not the whole holistic care, which nursing is.I started to say until a person FINDS OUT WHO THEY ARE, but I thought, no that is not quite right, I personally feel that a person is always growing and can always be searching for the true meaning of life. I feel that learning about ones self is a continual process that may take a life time, it may not or a life time may not even be long enough to figure it out. But making that first step on the path to self discovery is the most important and when you start to become aware of yourself, you naturally are able to become aware of others, which leads back to nursing and being able to provide the best care possible.OK I have rambled enough, nite :) P.S I have used I think, feel words because these are MY opinions and I know that some people that might read this might not agree with it. But that is the great thing about being human we are all entitled to our beliefs, values etc, which is another side of cultural safety, but that is another story :)

Two exams

and then one more semester and I will be an RN (after state exam too, of course) I can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!

I will have a degree, it is such an amazing feeling, knowing how close I am and yes it is actually going to happen :)

Then post grad study here I come

Last assignment for the year

arrrgggghhhh, I cant be bothered!!!!!
It is Saturday and because I have mucked around for so long I am stuck doing it. I want to be finished by tomorrow, so I can start studying for my exams.

Nurse Jacki

This just played here in NZ this week for the first time. I think it is suppose to be half hour episodes, but they are playing hour ones here (2 shows).

Anyway I really enjoyed it, found it to have a dark side, as well as pretty funny in some parts.

When it comes to summer in NZ there is nothing on tv, I have five channels but where I live only get three due to poor reception (in country). We can pay for sky which has heaps more, but as a student that does not really come into the budget.

At the moment all of my favourite shows have finished for the year: greys, lost, outrageous fortune. I cant think of anymore, ER is still playing (the last season).

While sitting here typing, I really should be doing my assignment, based on my clinical experience in the ED. We have to choose a condition / patient and pick three to four of what we think are the key nursing cares they were given. Then compare these (the nurse may have provided these cares or what we actually did, in accordance to hospital policy's) and compare them to best practice guidelines/ research etc.

I have decided to use chest pain. The four key areas of nursing care I am going to use are: assessment, pain management, ECG recording, O2 administration. I think, I change my mind frequently about what cares to do. Also because the assessment would have been done in triage, and then the patient would have been brought through to the ED. I have chosen my patient, and got consent etc, but everything does not seem to be fitting into place yet.

After this assignment I have two exams and then summer holidays for three months, then one more semester and I am FINISHED !!!!!! Hopefully I will find a good job, there are not many to pick from here due to the recession, and I can not move out of the area. There will be jobs in the hospital and I am sure I will be able to get one but it will not be in the area I am interested in because they take intakes for these at the start of the year not midway when we are due to finish. Anyway I will find out more around March next year.

I forgot

One of the biggest highlights was flying with the flight nurse for a shift, it was great we were gone 7.5 hours in total, that included two small towns and one large city.

Definitely what I aspire to be doing in a few years time :)

Finished

I have just finished five weeks in the ED. It was fantastic and I loved every minute of it, definitely my type of nursing. However they will not be taking new grads when I finish, they take them now. After careful consideration instead of going back there for my elective placement I am going to ICU, cant wait.

Busy busy

Classes are all over, exam time and next week I am on placement for five weeks: ED, very excited but very nervous.

Better go do some work:)

Tena Koutou

Eight days........that is how many is left until my literature review is due, and yes I am procrastinating, since logging onto computer I have read 1oo Maori words every New Zealander should know, checked emails, facebook, moodle ( tech site) and basically mucked around.

I am also a terrible blogger, d o not get here much now, but I will try to more frequently.

I have been sick for just under a couple of weeks, with some kind of flu even though I had my flu injection, so I have missed a couple of days of tech because of this , I am going back tomorrow, I hate missing classes, it takes so long to catch up again.

Haere ra

School is ...............

Pretty hectic, I have finished week one, which zoomed past.

In three weeks I have a literature review due. I have chosen the topic 'Best nursing practice in the administration of sucrose in neonates / premature infants'. I am not sure what angle I am taking for this and I still am not even sure on how to write a literature review, we have not had to do one yet.

Patho is good, very interesting, and the other paper middle and older adult (MOA) is ok. On the 31st of August I start working in ED for five weeks for my practicum placement. That will come up in no time, the last week went so fast.