I am going to start blogging again

I start a new job tomorrow morning. After two years of working in the MHIPU (mental health inpatient unit), I am about to begin nursing in a medical ward  (respiratory and renal).  I am excited, nervous, scared, and another dozen or so feelings. I began working in mental health two years ago because when I graduated there were only two new graduate nursing positions in the area where I live (moving was not an option), they were in mental health. So I applied, I thought if I get a position it will be meant to be. Well I did, and I have been there for two years. I am settled there, feel safe and comfy but I told myself a few months ago that this was not what I had wanted, and if I did not start attempting to find another job it would end up being to late. I might find myself still there in 10 years. I needed to get back into the nursing that I had spent three years learning, loving and now I have.

I have a permanent contract of 32 hours a week, so I am keeping a casual contract with the MHIPU and will hopefully do 8 or 16 hours a fortnight there. I would love to only work 64 hours a fortnight in the medical ward but money is tight and I need to get as much as I can at the moment.

I have spent some time reading articles on the website www.allnurses.com
and have attempted to read a few text books to remind myself what medical / surgical nursing is all about. Some of the articles I have read have scared the s*%t out of me, lots of scary stories about to many patients and not enough staff, med errors, mean managers and very sick patients. Today I had thoughts about ringing my new manager and explaining that it had all been a mistake and I was not going to be able to take the job. I know I could still have my old job if I wanted it. But no I told myself,  I  need to do this, I want to have a fantastic nursing career,  I want to get down to the ED and then flight nursing and this is the path I need to take.

Fingers crossed I have a good day and the nurse assigned to orientating me actually wants to do that, passed experience has shown me that sometimes nurses get lumped with students or new staff whether they want to or not. Now one would hope that all nurses love to teach and help a new nurse grow into a confident, independent being but this is not accurate. There are many old, grumpy farts in my hospital. Please oh please let my nurse me interested in my orientation, let her be funny but professional, a team player. And please oh please let her still love her career and want to pass on her experience and wisdom.

I am also attempting to start myself on some sort of fitness regime as well as a healthy eating plan.  I thought  that since I am changing jobs now is as good  a time as any to start living my life how I want to every day instead of telling myself I will start next week. Anyway we will see how I get on with that.

I am an RN!!!!!

and have been working for five weeks!

The hospital where I live only had two positions for the 35 of us that finished in July. These two positions were in mental health, and I actually got one. I am really enjoying it, I start post grad study in Jan, which is all paid for.


I still cannot believe I am not a student anymore, I still feel like I am on a placement. My job is really good but so much to learn. I work 80 hours a fortnight, so it is has been hard getting use to that I was expecting to work 64 a fortnight.

Will post again soon, have been so busy, new house, car (my good old trusty died), new job, life bit stressful at moment :)

I sit state

tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much to catch up on. I will soon, I promise.

Who would have thought

I would do a nursing degree and not be able to get an actual job. There are no new grad programmes where I live and there are no positions for level one RN's either. So I have had to apply to other cities. Which even if I get an interview and the slim chance of a job (with the whole of the north island applying at the two DHB's that are offering new grad programmes), my whole family will have to move and I do not know if we are ready to do that.

So far I have sent away for about 15 jobs and about five of those have been we are sorry but we will not be offering positions to new grads until next year. Please apply back then.

I am so angry, there were positions last year for the nursing students who finished half way through the year. Just none this year. I don't know what to do. It pains me to say it but I have even applied at about six rest homes and they are all filled up to.

I am thinking I might do some post grad study until the 2011 applications open in Sept. But that still means that I may not have work until Feb 2011.

Buggar it.

Portfolio

My Internet has died, so unfortunately I am not able to get here as often as I would have liked, and school is soooo busy.

I am finishing my portfolio today, I have written over 6000 words which has been a bit overboard.

It is worth 60% of my final mark for the paper Leadership and Management.

I have one more week of study break and then am at a rest home with year one students for two weeks, then few more weeks study, then I am on electives and then I am finished. Arrrggghhh.

I will finish beginning of July and sit state July 20th.

Word of advice, if you have to put together a portfolio in your last year, start writing now, it is hard to be reflective on placements you did in year one. I wish I had recorded each experience as it happened, never mind.

Im scared.........

When I was in year one I was the perfect student, when I was in year two I was the perfect student, and then year three standards have slipped pretty far, I still got two A- and one B+ last semester. This semester is not hard but I have no motivation, I am tired, I have had two kidney infections in the last two weeks. I have two assignments due, that I cant write because I cant keep my eyes open due to the medication I am on. Things in my life have changed and I feel like I have more to juggle now. I am scared about graduating, why did I choose a career that does shift work when I have two small children, am I even going to get a job, am I going to feel better soon so that I can work on my assignments, CV and portfolio, learn interview techniques, apply for a job, prepare for clinical placement (my last one). ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

OK that felt good to get it out, change it round now, everything is going to work out, I am going to graduate, I was suppose to become an RN, I was born to do it, I will get a job, the kid thing will work itself out, good positive thoughts out to the universe :)

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Tech is Blah.